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Love in a Handful of Dust: marquez could do you justice...
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marquez could do you justice
(but for now the task is mine)

marquez could do you justice (but for now the task is mine)

by kirk ramdath

when i think of you
my hands do not tremble with weakness
my eyes do not fill with tears
no longer does thinking of you
stir the embers of my desire into arousal

still, i am not lying when i declare
you are the most beautiful woman i have ever seen
i would give my life for one more kiss
then i would kiss you as if stopping meant death
for as the fullness of life becomes a vast nothingness
in the moment of death
so has the pleasure of your lips
made the fullness of life without your kiss
seem like a vast nothingness

an empty playground that i fill with secret thoughts of you
i fill my soul with things that were dear to you
you love the writing of marquez
so i read the story of fermina daza and florentino arizo

the opening line connects bitter almonds
to the scent of unrequited love
at first it is easy for me to play the role of florentino arizo
because he worships fermina daza
and like me, he cannot swim
in the character of fermina daza, i see you
with your aura of self-possession
your secret chord of strength
you never betray your calamity
navigating the disorder of the street
in your own time and space
like a bat in the darkness

but florentino arizo becomes a rejected man
who purgatories his body countless times
to dull the pangs of despised love
all the while he cares more for the hairs that fall from his head
than the women in his bed
all the while he hopes for the death of the husband
of the woman he claims to love
all the while,
a deceitful worm

this is not the legacy that your love leaves in me
i never cherished a word
until i spoke your name
and then i knew —
the highest concept can be named
i was changed
when i said you were beautiful
i was not speaking, i was breathing
my love for writing
is woven with my love for you
into this tapestry of words
into knowledge
that there is no higher purpose for words
than to breathe love into the world
- 16 -
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