"The Long-Discerned Fantasies of a Disillusioned Me" by Mahsa Sadat Razavi
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Winner: The Weekly Poetry Contest #26

The Long-Discerned Fantasies of a Disillusioned Me

by Mahsa Sadat Razavi
(Mashhad, Razavi Khorasan Province, Iran)
Published January 21, 2018
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The Long-Discerned Fantasies of a Disillusioned Me

by Mahsa Sadat Razavi

It's been a while
Since I've listened to songs
And imagined myself, instead of the exotic heroines;
The centerpiece of a love story
More brilliant, more striking than my own,
A lovely and angelic maiden who,
In a flower-splashed sundress,
Oblivious of the pouring rain,
Runs into the arms of her valiant lover.
Now I know it's her translucent soaked dress
That inspires him to wait for hours under her window,
And the touch of her barely aroused nipple
Grazing against his own chest
Is enough motivation for him to tolerate her whining presence.
But I still keep my hair long,
Not because, according to popular myth
It's what lures men into love--
I've long discovered the power of the incentive that
The breasts hidden beneath a canopy of contrast can provide--
It has to be long
To make me take a wearying amount of time
Out of my loveless day
To brush and untangle it,
And looking at the carrion-tinted cascade, realize
How long, how serpentine it has become;
To allow the conceit of seeing myself as Medusa
Indulge me in the sense of passionate power I'm deprived of.
How flattering it would be
If all the strands would wind into hissing snakes
Whose tame caress would lull me into a long sleep.
Now that the Greek grace of the unrecognized Goddess eludes me,
Maybe the earthly horror inflamed at the sight of a crone,
Withered, forlorn, bent under the hood
Of a red cloak would assist me.
How sinister I'd look, how speechless they'd be
When, as their condescending sneers
Strip me of my scarlet protection,
They would be astounded
By the morbid flash of dark eyes
Framed by a deep flow of the blackest night?

I am Mahsa Sadat Razavi, a graduate student of English Language and
Literature at University of Tehran. I am 23 years old, and have started
writing poetry and fiction since the age of 18. I have also been accepted
as the English translator for the higher education department of British
Council, assisting them in their Iran Project.
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