First Nations Poetry Magazine –

"Performance Anxiety" by Michael Bennett Leroux

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Published September 15th, 2024

Performance Anxiety

by Michael Bennett Leroux

Some people call me brave when they realize how scared I am.
The fear comes from being alone in this world with no guidance.
The tallest student in the class, with an old soul.
An intelligence that was molded in isolation.
Forced loneliness that refused to give in to morbid fascination.

Of course, Jesus helped.
Or more specifically, the endless torment of eternal damnation.
I suppose I'll just be patient in this life and sing a song.
I'll pretend people are listening and cheering.
I'll pretend my imagination brings relief to their own loneliness.
Then they will know they are not alone.
Like me.

When I open my eyes, as the final chord rings out and no one is there,
        the bravery begins.
Play another song, or the same one again.
It doesn't matter.
No one is here.
No one is listening.


Note on Community Membership
Michael Bennett Leroux: I'm Georgian Bay Métis. My Mother's Mother and Father's Father are from Tiny Township. A decedent of the Louis Michel Labatt's of the Red River Settlement in Manitoba. A decedent of Jean-Baptiste Cadot, a chief from Michilimackinac.

About the Poet
Michael Bennett Leroux resides in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Read the poet's biography on Michael Bennett Leroux's Artist Page.

This poem is collected in Comet #3, published in the Wax Poetry and Art Library.

Previously published in First Nations Poetry Magazine:
All That Is

by Ed Mandamin

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First Nations Poetry Magazine is part of the Wax Poetry and Art Network.
- Visit the main Wax Poetry and Art Submissions Page to see all opportunities.
- Visit the Wax Poetry and Art Library.
- This website and all contents ©Kirk Ramdath and specified artists.

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