Published September 15th, 2024
by Desire Amiebesunu Iruobe
Nonchalance had been a very wonderful trait of yours since the time father left (disappeared rather, left is a little bit acceptable). I recall father had beat you up one day and told you he'd rather be a dead man than be alive and have a son like you. The reason for this, I can't clearly remember but what I can remember was your sudden change in your normal behavioural ways, irreverence, and being apathetic towards concerning things that normal people would find strange (there's no single definition for normal people, forgive me). I'm not sure if this was an effect of your entering into adulthood but I'd clearly state here that you were really weird.
Pre-Echo's-transition into adulthood, you were my brother. Mother had named you after that mountain in the Greek mythology cursed by Hera. I would have loved to be named Hera but mother thought it right to name me Zed. Zed as in the letter "z" in the alphabet because she said I'd be her last child, she is hilarious, that woman. You had a name fetish, you'd mock those with weird names (me, not excluded) and those with names to your taste, you'd say you'd give your children.
I had always admired you. The kind of brother who dips you in mud only to bring you out and wash you with water that costs the world (after say, three hours though). You were gorgeous. You had this beautiful birth mark just below your left eye which made you look more Greek like, pointed nose exactly like father's, you kept your hair a little bit high, since it was too thick, you'd request I help you comb it which I always consented to and you'd rain curses on me for not knowing how to "handle a comb." You were ten centimetres less than our full room door – whose length I knew not. I had only discovered it one day when I came back from school and met you staring at your bed straight like a pole standing beside the door, you didn't notice I came in. I called your name but you didn't answer, then I noticed I'd been holding a thirty cm metre rule all the way from school to the house. So I stood behind you and casually put the ruler where the frame started from to your head – it was ten cm difference. Just then, you had regained your consciousness and asked why I was so stupid. Why you didn't go to school that day, I didn't know.
You were sixteen and I thirteen. There wasn't much difference in our ages, but you insisted I called you brother Echo. We shared a room demarcated by a PVC wall built by father. This PVC wall had a PVC door that led to my room, I'd have to pass yours to get to the corridor, you were always angry about this, but you'd been the one who chose the outer room because it was bigger. I thought it nice of me one day to ask you to move to my room so that I wouldn't have to pass your room at all. You gave me the curse of my life that day also, I knew I had to mind my business. To think that it's the same human that treats me like this at home that treats me like a queen in school is quite disturbing rather than annoying.
You were a member of the basketball club in school and Girls flocked around you – a sight I despised with the blood flowing through me. The game was played twice a week in school, but those were the two days I hated the most. I recall one time when your team won, amidst the celebration, you thought it kind of yourself to drag me to the center of the field jumping and chanting their song I had never one day thought of learning. I felt like throwing up. As if that wasn't enough, I found your annoying female classmates surrounding me and asking for your number (you'd warned me not to give out your phone number, so I lied that you didn't have a phone). I tried as much as possible for people to not think we were siblings but you found it right to tell the world. I just didn't want anything to do with you in school, your troubles and all.
On reaching home that basketball day, I asked about the nonsense you did in school, you said you were trying to make me make friends. Then I reminded you of how you spoiled my last hope of making friends the day you poured whatever juice it was on my body the day I was supposed to present my speech for being the head girl of junior school. You argued that it was my birthday, so I needed to celebrate. I don't blame you though, I blame myself for going to school that day with my awful speech you helped me prepare. To my greatest surprise, you apologized and said, "Zed please, I know you're going through a hard time and stuff, but you have to deal with it, it's your problem, I thought that speech was good enough to be presented over and over but since you didn't like it, I'll try making you a better one." (You'd try making me a better one? You never did).
These and many more we went through with Pre-Echo's-transition. I wouldn't say much about myself because I was the same throughout. Dealing with present Echo, so many things changed. Father left just about the time we were to celebrate your eighteenth birthday, the reason I know not. You and I seldom talked both at home and in school, you vacated our room to father's, you became withdrawn, started dating this girl called Ari whom I hated, you started treating me like a girl for once – which I found weird. You were in college, probably where you met that Ari girl. Mother loved her, she came by almost every weekend and spent the nights at our house. She knew I hated her, there was just something off about her, I tried explaining to mother. Mother said I was jealous.
There was a particular Saturday, where mom said we all should go to a new mall opened down the road. I protested and said everyone could go whenever they wanted and she let me stay. Ari decided she'd stay too. Then, I wished I had gone with you and mom. I went straight to my room, Ari sat in the parlour watching a TV show I hated. Tired from being inside, I decided to stroll outside awhile. I saw Ari scribbling something into a book, your book, the TV at the loudest, she was twirling her hair when she saw me and grinned.
You and mom came back around 1 pm. You two bought clothes and other items. You picked out some not-so-girl-like clothes for me, I appreciated your gesture though. Ari decided not to stay the night at our house, she'd said her dad wanted her home that evening (she'd spent forever sleeping in our house). You insisted on driving her, it was past eight in the evening. Her house was ten minutes drive from ours.
I had seen her that night. That feeling people get when they see something strange enough that they begin to doubt their senses? I felt it. Hiding behind a steel tank was no easy job for me. I hid there for hours processing what I'd tell mom. Mom had sent me to go dump the trash outside, which I found strange cause she'd never asked me to before. Immediately after emptying the bag, I heard a loud screech of tires coming towards my direction and I hid behind the garbage can.
I saw Ari. Ari, that bitch. She killed you! She killed you Echo, she stabbed you in your back thrice in my presence, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even scream but she just did it, Ari took you away from us. From me.
I went home and right on the front porch I found your book. "BINGO!" Ari had written all over. I told mom, she said I had no brother, she said dad died four years ago, she hadn't heard of the name Ari, and that my name is Xena. Mom says my name is Xena.
Let's work together one last time cause I'd surely need your help to avenge your death. The only problem is that mom won't let me out of this room. Just yesterday, she came and said she'd be back today, but she still hasn't come. Believe me, I'm not what mom says I am.
Forever in your heart,
Zed.
About the Author
Desire Amiebesunu Iruobe resides in Benin City, Edo State, Nigeria.
Read the poet's biography on Desire Amiebesunu Iruobe's Artist Page.
Previously published in Phoenix Photo Fiction:
Taxi
by Jerrice J. Baptiste
Phoenix Photo Fiction is part of the Wax Poetry and Art Network.
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