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--
January 15th, 2026
by Gary Beck
(Fran and Will have just inherited a lot of money. They want to collect good art
and they go to a posh gallery that has a haughty, condescending staff.)
Receptionist: May we help you? (looking disdainfully)
Fran: We want to look at some pictures.
Receptionist: We call them paintings. If you want to see pictures you should go
to a photo gallery.
Will: (To Fran) Let's get out of here. This place isn't for us.
Fran: Just give it a chance. (To receptionist) Is it alright if we look around?
Receptionist: We are open to the public.
Will: (To Fran) I don't like her attitude. Let's go someplace where they treat
you politely.
Fran: Let's look at some paintings. They might have something we like.
(A salesman comes up behind them, smug, pompous, and snide.)
Salesman: May I help you? (More condescending than the receptionist. Will jumps
in surprise.)
Will: You could let us know you're there first.
Salesman: I assumed you knew someone was there.
Will: Not when they sneak up behind us.
Salesman: I do not sneak, sir. (He walks away.)
Will: I guess we should have worn dollar signs so they'd know we were rich.
(They look at some paintings, mostly 3rd rate School of Paris, but they're
impressed by some of the names. The Salesman rejoins them.)
Salesman: Well... Do you see anything that looks familiar?
Fran: What do you mean?
Salesman: Do you know any of these artists?
Fran: I've heard of Renoir.
Salesman: He's very expensive. Perhaps you should consider another gallery
where the art is more affordable.
Will: What does that mean?
Salesman: Our gallery may be too expensive for you and your little woman.
Will: Don't talk about my wife like that.
Fran: Take it easy, Will.
Will: We don't have to take crap from him.
Fran: (to Salesman) We can afford to buy paintings. Tell us about this one,
(pointing to a gaudy Bernard Buffet.)
Salesman: That's by a famous French artist. It costs $60,000.
Will: She didn't ask the price.
Salesman: I thought I'd let you know the cost of the lesser paintings we have.
Fran: The Renoir is very pretty.
Salesman: It's $175,000.
Will: It's very small.
Salesman: That doesn't matter. It's by a great artist.
Will: I've seen Renoirs in museums. They all look neat and clean. This one looks
sloppy.
Salesman: It certainly does not. It's the soft, Impressionist style.
(Fran is videoing the painting with her camera.)
Will: I'm no expert, but it doesn't look right to me.
Salesman: Who are you to judge great art. I think its time for you to leave.
(He takes Will's arm.)
Will: Take your hand off me! (He knocks the hand away that hits the Renoir, knocks
it down and it tears.)
Salesman: Look what you've done.
Fran: You did it and I've got the video to prove it. I'm going to press charges
against you for assaulting my husband. Let's go, Will. (They exit.)
(The Receptionist rushes to pick up the painting.)
Receptionist: The painting is ruined. The boss will be furious.
Salesman: It doesn't matter. He overinsures all the paintings.
Receptionist: But it's one of a kind.
Salesman: So what. It's fake junk and we'll still get paid.
(Exit salesman and receptionist.)
END
About the Playwright
Gary Beck resides in New York, New York, United States.
Read the playwright's biography and The Short Play's the Thing publications
on Gary Beck's Artist Page.
Short Plays Collection
This play is also featured in
Short Plays Collection #1,
published in the The Short Play's the Thing Playhouse.
Keywords: retail store, class dichotomy, art gallery
Previously published in Short Plays USA:
This is the first play published.
Short Plays USA is part of The Short Play's the Thing and waxpoetryart.com.
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- Visit The Short Play's the Thing Playhouse.
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