Short Plays USA –

Screwball by Judy Klass

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Cover image is a drawing from the 1800s by Eugene Delacroix depicting a grave-digger offering a skull to Hamlet.

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January 15th, 2026

Short Plays USA Contest #1 – First Place

Screwball

by Judy Klass

Characters:
 
ROBERT: Male college student, formal, socially "off."
 
AURORA: Gutsy female college student, socially "off."
 
MATT: Male college student, socially "off."
 
Setting:
 
A college dorm common room.
 
Time: 
 
The present.

Scene:
 
ROBERT adjusts his clothes and faces the audience, addressing an invisible person
with a video camera.
 
ROBERT                       
Okay, so tell me when the camera is on. So... now?
(speaks awkwardly, as a film narrator, toward invisible camera)
So, uh, hi. I'm Robert. Um, so this is the freshman dorm common room. We're all
taking a first-year course on Social Anxiety. And we have this film project due
for Professor Donnegan on "Mitigating Anxiety Through Pop Culture." We're presenting
ideas to make people feel better. Especially people our age, with social fear and
depression. And, um, I'm doing mine on screwball comedy.

(clears throat)

ROBERT (cont'd)
Um. One reason screwball comedy became really big during the 1930s was the Great
Depression. People wanted to forget stuff like breadlines, and the Dust Bowl, and
the stock market crash, and no jobs, so they'd go to the movies and watch Shirley Temple.
They'd watch Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon in outer space. They'd watch Fred Astaire and
Ginger Rogers dancing. And they'd watch screwball comedies. It was pure escapism. Lots
of movies were about rich people in fancy clothes with rich-people problems. There were
also screwball comedies onstage, by people like Kaufman and Hart. You had highbrow humor,
with rapid-fire dialogue, and witty allusions – but with lowbrow humor mixed in.
Slapstick. Knockabout comedy. They didn't have gross-out humor about body functions,
or direct sex jokes – the censors wouldn't allow that. There were wacky characters,
and unlikely situations. There would be formality, and then the silliness would come
crashing in.
 
(AURORA ENTERS with MATT. AURORA wears pointy ears and a cape and carries fake weapons.
MATT wears something vaguely medieval. He carries a flute or recorder and an iPhone.)
 
ROBERT
Oh. So, you may see that, behind me, Aurora and Matt have come in, though I booked the
room for this time.
 
AURORA
It's called a "common room," Robert, because it's for all of us. Do your narration at
dawn, if you don't want other people coming in here.
 
ROBERT
So, Aurora actually did hear Professor Donnegan say that we should be generous and support
each other –
 
AURORA
Hello! We're going to have an epic battle, on camera. You're giving a lecture. Go do it
in your dorm room.
 
ROBERT
Excuse me, I hired a videographer, you're filming on Matt's phone, and you could go
outdoors for your little battle –
 
AURORA
It's drizzly, and we don't have a selfie stick. Okay? Matt can prop up his phone on a
ledge here, and keep it dry.
 
MATT
Yeah. I can.
 
(MATT finds a place to the side, at eye level, for his phone. ROBERT narrates to the
invisible video camera.)
 
ROBERT
So, I thought this might happen. But I decided to keep filming, if it did happen,
because it could illustrate my point about screwball comedy. Here, we have several
eccentric, socially maladjusted people –
 
AURORA
Oh, bite me!
 
MATT
Yeah! Bite her –
 
ROBERT
Strange people engaged in strange pursuits, which is highly characteristic of
screwball comedy. You need overlapping activities, and a director and a writer have
to keep many different balls in the air –
 
(AURORA gives a weapon to MATT and keeps one. She looks toward the phone's camera,
and narrates her own film. MATT plays a medieval-sounding song on the recorder.)
 
AURORA
Okay, so, we're here today to demonstrate the importance of LARPing. Live Action Role
Playing. When you're LARPing, you can become your character in the game – in a way
you can't when you're playing a game like Dungeons and Dragons, and like you can't
do with your avatar in a video game.  You develop your character over time, and you
create or buy the costume and the props. I've been various characters. I've been a
mercenary alchemist, and a necromancer sage. At the moment, I am Hagara, a warrior
elf. Not a drau. A virtuous elf, with knowledge of bone-knitting and other healing
arts. Matt, do you want to say who you are?
 
(MATT shakes his head no.)
 
AURORA (cont'd)
Okay, so Matt is Cliffordium. He's a tavern-keeper and a wandering minstrel.
 
(MATT nods yes.)
 
AURORA (cont'd)
But of course, even musicians must engage in duels and skirmishes in the magical
realms of fantasyland. Matt and I will now demonstrate a combat boffer LARP – where
you take PVC pipe, and you cover it with insulating foam, and do battle. Observe!
 
(MATT puts down the recorder. AURORA and MATT engage in a strenuous, grunting battle
with their weapons. ROBERT looks toward his invisible camera and narrates.)
 
ROBERT
So, the socially challenged people who engage in LARPing are clearly trying to get
away from a world that's miserable, especially for young people. There are huge
gaps between rich and poor now, as in the 1930s. Life certainties have disappeared,
capitalism is in crisis, democracy is scorned, and war, bigotry and fascism are on
the rise around the world, as in the 1930s. But we, um, also have new and different
challenges. The environment is under siege, species are disappearing, science gets
trashed, we're scared of AI, and, plus, we were all raised by helicopter parents,
and we only interact with the world on social media, and we were locked down during
a pandemic, so we have no clue how to talk to each other, let alone date. So, it's
not surprising that we express ourselves in these odd and pathetic ways.
 
AURORA
(still fighting, addressing ROBERT's camera and MATT's phone)
Don't listen to him! LARPing is creative and empowering! Unlike war games played by 
angry incels, LARPing involves lots of women! It creates an environment where shy people,
and people on the autism spectrum, and non-binary and trans people, and people from every walk
of life can feel at home among the fairy fay folk, and bright witches and rebel warlocks,
demons and angels, gnomes and orks, and monsters! Instead of trolling online, you can
embrace your inner troll, you can go on a retreat, run through the woods, drink mead,
join a guild, and sing sea shanties!
 
ROBERT
Um. We are supposed to address gender roles slash sexual anxieties in this film project.
So, let me say that in the 1930s, lots of screwball comedies featured women who were
"dizzy dames." Like Carole Lombard in the movie My Man Godfrey. Or Katherine Hepburn
in Bringing Up Baby. They were flutter-brained, daffy vixens who were child-women, and
they were often rich and spoiled and never grew up.
 
AURORA
(still fighting)
And that's your cure for anxiety among people in our generation, Robert? Bite me again!
 
MATT
Bite her again!
 
ROBERT
In contrast, recently, it's men in comedies who never grow up. Like in Judd Apatow
movies. Men get drunk and smoke pot and watch porn and don't have jobs. Um. It's hard
to know what this means – the child-women in the 1930s and the child-men in movies today.
 
AURORA
LARPing builds social skills. And organizational skills, and writing skills, because we
can be game-masters and help write the storylines. LARPing leads to self-discipline and
physical exercise. It builds acting skills. When I'm not my character, I'm an NPC,
bringing news. You may not be brave, but your character can be brave. You may not have
friends, but you are one with your guild, or village, or the others on your quest, as
you sit around the campfire. Matt, is there anything you'd like to say about what
LARPing has done for you?
 
MATT
(hesitant)
I'd like to say ... something else.
 
AURORA
Okay.
 
MATT
So, yeah. I think it would be very healing and positive for our college if we could play
Humans vs. Zombies. That can be a college-wide LARP. It's like tag, and most people are
humans at first, but then the Zombies get them, and an hour later, they turn into Zombies.
 
AURORA
Okay, so, maybe petition the administration about that, not Professor Donnegan?
 
MATT
(undeterred)
But if a Zombie doesn't get anyone in 48 hours, it starves to death. There are safe areas
where the humans can congregate, but they cannot get into cars or go off campus. And
it's not true that Humans vs. Zombies turns off women. Lots of women play.
 
AURORA
That's absolutely correct.
 
ROBERT
(toward his camera)
So, in conclusion, for my film project, I would like to say that I think we could alleviate
a lot of stress, misery and anxiety if we brought back the screwball comedy, with some
21st Century modifications. Our future has turned into a black hole, there is sadness,
anger and despair all around us, and so we should lose ourselves in silliness and mayhem
of various kinds. Thanks so much for watching.
 
(AURORA and MATT both wave at ROBERT's invisible camera. AURORA speaks sarcastically:)
 
AURORA
Bye!
 
END OF PLAY

About the Playwright
Judy Klass resides in Nashville, Tennessee, United States.
Read the playwright's biography and The Short Play's the Thing publications on Judy Klass's Artist Page.

Short Plays Collection
This play is also featured in Short Plays Collection #1, published in the The Short Play's the Thing Playhouse.

Keywords: screwball comedy, meta-theatre, LARPing, anxiety, pop culture

Previously published in Short Plays USA:
Tree Grows in Akron
by Christopher Franciosa

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