Indonesia Poetry Magazine

Indonesia Poetry Magazine –

"The Last Time I Prayed" by Miriam Bahagijo

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September 15th, 2026

Indonesia Poetry Contest #1 – First Place

The Last Time I Prayed

by Miriam Bahagijo

When was the last time I prayed?
I think it was when I was applying for the scholarship that would fully fund my master’s degree, 
And the last time before that was when I prayed for my parents not to get divorced 
 
I made it to New York,
But my parents’ marriage did not 
 
Maybe I felt skeptical,
Because I was never a religious person,
 
Maybe I felt ashamed
To have only come to God whenever I’m in a pinch,
Perhaps I was never worthy to speak to God, 
Only when I needed something, 
 
Whenever I arrived home safely, 
Whose prayer was it that God has been granting?
Was it my mom’s? 
Or my dad’s? 
 
My mom prays to Mother Mary,
While my dad usually prays on Fridays,
I asked for both of my parents’ prayers, 
Because who else would pray for my sake 
 
Now I’m not even sure what to ask anymore,
Should I pray for that job I have been applying for?
Do I really want that job in the first place? 
 
Should I pray for me to meet the love of my life? 
But what if there’s no one for me after all
And what if getting married makes me less happy than I am now
 
Should I pray for more character development?
and world peace
and for all strays to have felt the warmth of a home, 
 
Was it naïve to pray for good to overcome evil?
For corrupt governments and corporations to fall? 
And for life to be a little fair? 
 
How long has it been since I prayed as if my life depends on it?
I still believe that there are greater forces beyond us, 
beyond what our mind can grasp, 
I still believe in God
 
It’s me who I don’t believe

About the Poet
Miriam Bahagijo resides in KJakarta Selatan, DKI Jakarta, Indonesia.
Read the poet's biography and Wax Poetry and Art publications on Miriam Bahagijo's Artist Page.

This poem is also featured in Poetry World #16, published in the Wax Poetry and Art Library.

Keywords: faith, religion, self-reflection

Previously published in Indonesia Poetry Magazine:
This is the first poem published.

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