Africa Poetry Magazine –

"Addicted to Darkness" by Siphokazi Mjijwa

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September 15th, 2026

Africa Poetry Magazine

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Addicted to Darkness

by Siphokazi Mjijwa

There was a time when I did not run from the 
sadness— I fed it.
Watered it with my thoughts, 
dug it up when it tried to leave,
pulled it back into my chest just to feel
like myself again.

It knew my name.
Lived in my bones like it belonged there.
When it lifted, I panicked, 
scrambling through my own mind 
trying to find it again.

Because what is a life when all you 
have ever known Is the weight?
What is peace to a soul that has only ever learned
how to survive the storm?

I mistook the cage for home.
The chains for comfort.
The silence for safety.
And the most terrifying part— Is that I chose it.

But grace...
grace would not leave me there.
It came like light my eyes 
did not know how to hold,
burning through the lies
I had wrapped around myself
just to keep breathing.

And suddenly, the darkness
did not feel like home anymore.
It felt like what it always was.
A thief. A liar. A slow death
I had learned to call living.

I still feel it sometimes.
The echo. The pull.
But I do not follow.
Because I have seen the light now,
and I know the difference
between being held...
and being consumed.

About the Poet
Siphokazi Mjijwa resides in Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa.
Read the poet's biography and Wax Poetry and Art publications on Siphokazi Mjijwa's Artist Page.

This poem is also featured in Poetry World #16, published in the Wax Poetry and Art Library.

Keywords: depression, healing, inner battles

Previously published in Africa Poetry Magazine:
Yesterday
by Joseph C. Ogbonna

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